


The fucking couch

by aerobesk



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-25
Updated: 2014-02-25
Packaged: 2018-01-13 18:17:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1236334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aerobesk/pseuds/aerobesk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A friend thought that "The Fucking Couch" meant the couch they fucked on, so I wrote this. I'm sorry</p>
            </blockquote>





	The fucking couch

“And this is the fucking couch.”

The others just stood there, an odd mix of expressions on their faces. Church was staring at Tucker, slightly confused. Caboose was staring at the couch as though it was going to get up or talk to him. Simmons and Grif held equal expressions of uncertainty.

Grif looked over to Tucker for confirmation and got what he was looking for. He looked between the other man and the couch twice before settling on a simple expression of mild horror.

“Well, I’m gonna go see if Donut’s out of the shower yet. Be back; and make yourselves at home.”

Tucker walked away, stretching his arms above his head as he went. Caboose was now on his knees talking to the couch (“And how are you today Mr. Couch?”) and Church walked over to sit down, shrugging off Tucker’s odd introduction.

“I wouldn’t sit there if I were you.”

Church stopped in midair, standing straight again as he stared at Grif.

“Why not?”

“Because,” Simmons said, not taking his eyes off of the black leather sofa. “Tucker called it the fucking couch.”

“And?”

“Church, you’ve met Donut. Is there any other reason that it would be called the ‘Fucking Couch’?”

Church looked backwards at the couch, then over to the two men staring at him. He reached out slowly, grabbing Caboose by the shoulder and moving him away from the couch.

“Hey! Church, I was having a conver-“

“Caboose, we’re going to stay away from the couch now. Forever.”

The four of them stood there in the middle of the room, slightly awkwardly as they tried to avoid looking at the couch. Finally, Grif asked what they had all been thinking.

“What is taking them so long?”

As if on queue they heard a loud thump and a drawn out, high pitched moan. Simmons and Church were halfway out of the apartment before any more sounds could be heard. Grif followed quickly behind, dragging Caboose with him. He called out a quick “We’ll visit another time!” before he slammed the door behind him.


End file.
